It’s not surprising that you feel anxious about the day when you will marry your love. It is normal for grooms and brides to feel anxious about their wedding and the prospect of making a long-term commitment. Being married is a significant life event. You are the focal point of attention and make a public commitment. Jodi Smith, Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting’s etiquette expert, says that there are many other factors to consider, such as the cost of asking family and friends from far and near to travel, and the drama that is associated with major celebrations. It wouldn’t be normal if the couple didn’t feel at least a little bit of weddingjitters.
Experts point out, however, that there is a distinct difference between pre-weddingjitters and “having cold feet.” Paulette Sherman, Psy.D. is a psychologist, relationship expert, and author of Dating from The Inside Out. “Cold feet indicates an urge to run away and bail completely, not just on the wedding, but also on your partner,” she explains. Cold feet can be more serious, she says, with panic attacks and crying. Wedding jitters can be characterized by nervousness, restlessness and irritability. It is also possible to have difficulty sleeping or concentrating. These jitters are common in the lead up to the wedding. However, having cold feet can often be a sign of someone making a bad decision.
Isadora Martin Dye, a wedding planner who also owns Rixey Manor, advises couples to determine the root cause of their jitters. She explains that one of the main causes of anxiety is fear of inviting all your family and friends together for one day. It’s stressful enough to bring one family together for a holiday reunion or other event, but when every person in your life is coming together for the first time, there are nerves about whether they will get along.
Cold feet could be the reason you are worried about your marriage. Smith says that you should still feel the spark of love when someone looks at you or holds your hand. “Lust can fade but loving and caring gestures will make a marriage last.”
It’s a good idea to assess if you can talk to your spouse about your emotions to determine if your nerves are not just wedding jitters. Julienne Derichs is a licensed clinical professional counselor. “This shows that you are able to reach out to each other in times when you need it and that you trust your spouse will always be there for you,” Julienne says. She recommends couple counseling if you feel like you are unable to talk about your feelings with your partner without fear of repercussions. There is no shame in learning some relationship skills and education in just a few sessions. In fact, research shows that couples can significantly reduce their chances of divorcing with as little as 8 hours of counseling. adds Derichs.
